A Love Story of Alzheimer`s Patient

Former Supreme Court judge Sandra Day O’Connor used to function as the ‘casting boat’ in the Supreme Court, which was tensely divided between conservatism and liberalism. She also presided over historic cases. O’Connor was a strong woman who ruled the court while fighting against breast cancer.

When the dementia symptoms of her husband, John O’Connor, grew serious, however, she decided in July 2005 to step down from her position as Supreme Court judge, a life-long vocation.

Until diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 17 years ago, her husband, whom she met in Stanford Law School, was a capable lawyer working for law firms in and around Washington. But as his illness worsened he became more dependent on his wife, spending many his days in his wife’s office.

When retiring, former Supreme Court judge O’Connor explained the reason for her decision, saying, “Now is the time for me to spend more time with my husband.” Though she kept smiling for the cameras, she confessed to her son that she “felt like crying because it was as if she were being forced to come down from the top of the mountain.”

Recently, John O’Connor began to date another dementia patient in the same nursing home. They are often seen taking walks hand-in-hand and kissing each other.

“Father is like a teenage boy in love,” says Scott, son of the former judge. “Mom’s not jealous. She feels relieved that father has found some emotional stability.”

Sometimes former judge O’Connor visits the nursing home and spends time with the two of them, said Scott.

Nursing home staff and medical experts say that former judge O’Connor’s attitude sends an important message to the families of dementia patients.

“Though dementia patients lose their memory and recognition, it doesn’t mean they need any less love and care,” says Peter Reed, the senior director of the Chicago-based Alzheimer`s Association. “The best family members can do is to let the past go and to accept the patients as being the way they are.”

lightee@donga.com