Let’s talk about how to live a life

“Let’s not talk about the Sewol ferry (accident).” Most meals or coffee breaks started saying this. But conversations always ended up talking about the tragic accident. Over the last one month, I shared the words of sadness, despair and anger with people around me. Throughout the course, not just feelings but also thoughts in my mind were not easily controlled.

“Just looking at the face of my little daughter asleep late at night after work brought me to tears. I had mixed feelings and had to drink alone sometimes.” (Office worker in 40s)

“My teen-aged son was comfortably watching TV after the mid-term exam. I used to get angry at him in such a situation, but I just smiled and let him watch TV. I think the accident may generate a so-called “Sewol ferry generation” whose academic scores dramatically decreased.” (Company executive in late 40s)

The limits of criticisms against public servants, the government and the president have disappeared. Of course, they are the ones who have courted such severe criticisms. Now, friends and people that I meet use the “terrible” expressions that I often read online. When it gets uncomfortable to chime in with these people, I rather remain silent. One middle-aged woman that I know still believed one of the conspiracies, which was revealed as a fault, and said that “the disaster is a ‘massacre.’”

A professional man in his 50s calmly said that he has “supported the president because he believes that the president who doesn’t have parents or family to take care of is the one who will dedicate herself to the nation.” However, such a view failed to arouse an echo among the so-called “386 generation” (those who were born in the 1960s and entered a college in the 1980s). “The leadership is hopeless.” “There is no countermeasure but scolding.” “Could it have been different if it was late President Roh Moo-hyun?” These summarize their views in general.

I even saw someone saying, “That’s why people should serve in the military.” This reminded me of the North Korean regime, which keeps making gender discriminating and insulting comments against South Korea’s woman president. Cynical jokes at dinner parties and North Korea’s degrading slanders oddly overlap at this moment.

The conversations usually end in vain. While we denounce the inability of the authorities that failed to rescue passengers from the sinking ferry before their very eyes, we do not know what and how we should do down the road. Is it the best to take to the streets to protest? Many of us still feel uneasy, but there is no rein to hold over our minds. During the 1997 Asian financial crisis, we collected pieces of gold at home to raise funds. But during this mental crisis, what should we collect together?

“If I were the captain of the Sewol ferry, would I have acted differently?” Some of my friends said in guilty conscience. Writings that reflect on the accident might have affected such guiltiness. I did not reply back to the friends then. Now, I am writing here what I wanted to say.

“Let’s do not say so. Instead, let’s say ‘I will never act like the captain.’ Our words will change our acts. And that will make this world change at least a bit.” We should never be like the captain who hurriedly escaped from the ferry in underwear while ignoring his responsibilities. We should also tell our children. “Look at the horrible tragedy of the captain how have ignored his responsibility as a leader. Fulfill your duty as a student. Study hard. You should do so not to be a man like the Sewol captain.”

“Aren’t you afraid of death?” I asked this to a woman soldier in her early 20’s when I was taking a training program in the U.S. in 2010. “When I was a kid, my father always said what the life would be worth if you are not doing something that you can risk your life for. I am doing what I can risk my life for. So I am not afraid of death,” said the young soldier. I was moved by her answer, but I have not been a father like hers.

The day before yesterday, I talked with my teen-aged son about how to live a life for the first time. I talked and made a commitment together.