Winning minds of girlfriend and parents

How can one win back the mind of girlfriend who split off? If you search on the Internet, a flurry of advertisements on ‘"relationship recovery consulting" designed to help people agonizing over this concern get listed. They are to offer diverse services ranging from phone counseling to special onsite events to help increase the possibility for successful recovery of relationship. Service fees amount to 40,000 won (35 U.S. dollars) to 200,000 won (175 dollars) per session of counseling.

Leadership of the majority Minjoo Party of Korea, which suffered crushing defeat in the Jeolla region in the April 13 general elections, have shown differences in views on how to regain support of the public in the region. Voters in the Jeolla region, the traditional home turf of the opposition camp, gave overwhelming support to the People’s Party in the elections, while punishing the Minjoo Party. The Minjoo Party includes people who view the Jeolla region as "girlfriend" and those who regard them as "parents." Depending on how you see the region, they suggest different solutions.

The party’s emergency committee chairman Kim Jong-in and floor leader Woo Sang-ho follow "the theory of girlfriend," while former chairman Moon Jae-in and Rep. Song Young-gil support the "theory of parents." Those who believe in the theory of girlfriend suggests a cool-off period to give the girlfriend time to think rationally, saying that if a man seeks instant recovery of relationship by stubbornly following his girlfriend like a stalker, it could backfire. In contrast, those who follow the theory of parents say, “That’s nonsense. If parents express anger, it is the right thing to do for the children to visit more often and soothe them.” What do people in the Jeolla region actually have in mind? Are they sending an ultimatum like a girlfriend, who is sick of the boyfriend who recklessly behaves as he pleases by only turning a deaf ear? Or are they seeking to take a disciplinary action like parents who can never dump their children no matter how badly the children behave?

It is not an easy thing to do to regain the mind of a girlfriend who left. Counseling firms advise that the key to recovering relationship is "your attitude." If you are to regain the mind your girlfriend, you should accurately read her mind. You should accurately diagnose what went wrong while dating, and how you can correct and improve in the future. If you make an excuse as stopgap measure or make irrational arguments, recovering relationship will be out of the question. This is a piece of advice not only a man who deeply misses his ex-girlfriend but also the Minjoo Party that is striving to "relationship with the Jeolla region" should pay attention.

고미석기자 mskoh119@donga.com