Excess of grief

Even the most devout may lost their peace of mind when faced with profound sorrow. Globally-renowned British writer and Christian apologist C.S. Lewis is a case in point. He became angry and even resented God when his beloved died. "Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble."

As an academic who had been writing his entire life, Lewis started writing on his skepticism, distrust and agony. And the results: his book called "A Grief Observed." Maybe the article "A" in the title should be translated more thoroughly to convey his intention. Lewis may have wanted to mean that the book is a deeply personal record, not a review of what grief means generally. He even used a pseudonym N.W. Clerk to make the book all the more secretive and personal. It was known several years later after he died that Lewis is the real author of the book.

The book is a record of sorrow felt by a man who lost his beloved wife. Lewis got married in his late 50s after living alone for long as a single. He married his wife knowing that she was ill, and their marriage was short-lived, ending only in three years. Lewis was overwhelmed by grief that devoured him like hell. No one could condole him. But oddly enough, his intense sorrow and tears parted him away from his late wife, not connecting her with him. Paradoxically, Lewis could remember her more clearly when he grieved less. It was like you could see better when you stop crying and tears no longer obstruct your view. "You can't see anything properly while your eyes are blurred with tears."

It does not mean that you should not mourn. It's just that you should question whether excessive show of grief is the right way to mourn whole-heartedly. Abrupt partings can be so painful and heartbreaking that they can easily lead you to uncontrollable and excessive emotions. But it is worth noting that excessive grief and tears as well as self-pity can prevent us from approaching someone you love or being approached by those who love you. It must be the words of wisdom Lewis got from suffering from and overcoming his pain.