Happiness comes from facing pain, not pleasure

As the new year rolls in, many people make resolutions to cut back on alcohol or quit smoking. These days, there's also a trend of people aiming to reduce their shopping and smartphone usage. Warnings have been issued about the severity of 'behavioral addictions' like social media, gaming, unboxing, and binge-watching videos post-work, which can be as serious as addictions to alcohol, tobacco, or drugs. Dr. Anna Lembke, Chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic at Stanford University, shared in a New Year interview with The Dong-A Ilbo, "Everything around us is engineered to be addictive, making it easy for anyone to become addicted."

The human brain releases dopamine, often called the 'happiness hormone,' when engaging in activities like drinking or shopping, leading to a sense of pleasure. However, our bodies strive to maintain a physiological balance, and in the process of counterbalancing pleasure, we often feel pain, such as depression or anxiety. If a person cannot control their drinking or shopping habits, obsesses over them, and finds their daily life disrupted, it's a sign of entering a dangerous phase of addiction. Addiction doesn't just affect those with weak willpower; Dr. Lembke, with over 25 years of experience treating addiction patients, once found herself struggling with a 'romance novel' addiction.

The problem of social media addiction is particularly grave these days. Around 60% of the global population uses social media, with the average daily usage being about two and a half hours, which amounts to 15% of our waking time. Social media algorithms are designed to keep users engaged with stimulating content, often leading people to start browsing in bed and then not being able to stop until the early hours of the morning. Dr. Lembke notes explicitly, “The shorter the video, the stronger its addictive quality,” and likens giving smartphones to young children to leaving them with unhealthy food.

If an addiction to something disrupts daily life, taking a month-long break is necessary for the brain to normalize. This helps regain the ability to find joy in simple rewards. In an era abundant with stimuli that easily provide pleasure, relying solely on willpower is not enough. Strategies like drinking only with certain friends or putting away smartphones during family meals or before bed are crucial. Dr. Lembke advises, “Life might be filled with pain, but facing it and finding solace in the fact that you are not alone can lead to greater happiness.” It suggests that our unhappiness is not due to a lack of something but rather due to the things we immerse ourselves in and long for.